I HAIL FROM HORLIVKA, A CITY LOCATED IN THE DONETSK REGION OF UKRAINE. AS A CHILD, I WASN’T FOND OF THE PLACE BECAUSE OF ITS DULL AND DRAB, SOVIET UNION-LIKE APPEARANCE. HOWEVER, I LOVED THE PEOPLE THERE, MY ROOM IN OUR MODEST APARTMENT, MY FATHER’S WORKSHOP, WHERE MY THREE DOGS ALWAYS AWAITED ME, THE NEARBY FOREST WHERE I COULD ESCAPE FROM THE WORLD, AND THE THOUSANDS OF BOOKS I ENJOYED READING FROM OUR LIBRARY, WHICH INTRODUCED ME TO ART. IN 2014, MY FAMILY LEFT HORLIVKA DUE TO THE WAR THAT BROKE OUT THERE. MY ENTIRE LIFE — ALL 18 YEARS OF IT — COULD BE SQUEEZED INTO ONE BACKPACK. TODAY, IT’S ALL JUST A HAZY MEMORY. THIS IS MY STORY — BUT IT’S ALSO THE STORY OF MILLIONS OF DONETSK RESIDENTS, AND COUNTLESS OTHERS AROUND THE WORLD WHO WERE FORCED TO BID FAREWELL TO THEIR HOMES.
UKRAINE.*
MEMORIES ARE OFTEN ASSOCIATED WITH THINGS RATHER THAN PEOPLE. UNLIKE PEOPLE, THINGS HAVE A DEFINITE, PRECISE EMOTION ASSOCIATED WITH THEM. WHENEVER I ASK MY FRIENDS ABOUT THEIR MEMORIES OF THEIR HOME IN DONETSK, THEY ALWAYS MENTION SEEMINGLY INSIGNIFICANT AND ORDINARY THINGS LIKE THE BALCONY OF THEIR OLD FLAT, A FAVORITE SOFA, SCHOOL, STADIUM ARENA, SUPERMARKET NEARBY HOME, ETC. IT IS WITH THESE SIMPLE NOTIONS THAT WE EACH ASSOCIATE OUR PAST.
HOWEVER, OUR MEMORIES ARE NOT ALWAYS ACCURATE AND CAN OFTEN BE DISTORTED. BUT REGARDLESS OF THEIR ACCURACY, OUR MEMORIES MAINLY INFORM US OF OUR PRESENT SENSE OF SELF. THE DESIRE TO RELIVE THE PAST AND RETURN TO A PREVIOUS SITUATION IS A NOSTALGIC EXPERIENCE. MEMORY ACCOMPANIES US IN OUR MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, AND SPIRITUAL WORLDS.
GAMES AND TOYS OFTEN TRIGGER OUR CHILDHOOD MEMORIES, TAKING US BACK TO A TIME WHEN WE WERE GETTING TO KNOW THE WORLD. AS A CHILD, I BUILT A DOLLHOUSE IN THE CLOSET AND SPENT MOST OF MY TIME THERE, AS IT WAS MY SAFE HAVEN — MY PERSONAL SPACE WITHIN MY HOME. PLAYING WITH DOLLS AND SETTING UP THEIR HOUSE AND LIFE ALLOWS US TO UNDERSTAND ADULT ROLES BETTER. CONVERSELY, WHEN AN ADULT PLAYS, THEY RECONNECT WITH THEIR INNER CHILD AND REMINISCE ABOUT THE PAST, GAINING A DEEPER UNDERSTANDING OF THEMSELVES IN THE WORLD. THIS RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE PAST AND THE PRESENT IS A MANIFESTATION OF THE UNDERSTANDING OF ONESELF.
REMINISCENCES FROM MY CHILDHOOD:
SINCE OUR MEMORY DOESN’T WORK PERFECTLY, MEMORIES MAY NOT ALWAYS BE EXPRESSIVE. BUT EVEN IF SO, MOST OFTEN THEY ARE DISTORTED AND INVENTED BY ME ALREADY IN THE PRESENT. OUR MATERIAL SHELL, THE BODY, ALSO HAS A MEMORY CALLED SKILL. BUT SPIRITUAL AND EMOTIONAL MEMORY BARELY HAS THE POWER OF SKILL, SUCH MEMORY IS WEAKER. AS WE TURN TO THE REALM OF THE SPIRIT, OUR MEMORIES BECOME MORE BLURRED. WE HAVE EXPERIENCE, BUT WE CANNOT SPECIFY IT. PLATO CALLED SUCH A MEMORY A REMINISCENCE, A VAGUE MEMORY, JUST AN ECHO OF AN EVENT OR IMPRESSION. IN MY WORKS, I DO NOT WANT TO PORTRAY ANY SPECIFIC EXPRESSIVE EVENTS FROM MY CHILDHOOD, BUT RATHER FRAGMENTS OF MY MEMORY ENGRAVED SOMEWHERE DEEP IN MY SUBCONSCIOUS, WHICH FIRST COME TO MIND WHEN I LOOK FOR A DEFINITION OF THE WORD "HOME".
THE PROJECT FOCUSES ON HOW OUR PAST INFLUENCES OUR PRESENT AND OUR CONNECTION TO GAMES, TOYS, AND CHILDHOOD ATTACHMENTS. IT EXPLORES HOW WE SUBCONSCIOUSLY RETURN TO OUR SAFE PLACE. THE IDEA IS COMMUNICATED THROUGH MEMORIES IN THE FORM OF GAMES, COMBINING CHILDHOOD REMINISCENCES WITH THE CONCEPT OF PLAY.
THIS CREATIVE PROJECT IS PRIMARILY BASED ON INTROSPECTION, AIMED AT GAINING A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF MY PERSONAL CONSCIOUSNESS, AND IS CENTERED AROUND MY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES. THE PROJECT SEEKS TO CREATE A CONNECTION BETWEEN US AND OUR PAST MEMORIES, AND HOW THEY IMPACT OUR PRESENT LIVES. IT CELEBRATES OUR BOND WITH GAMES AND TOYS, AND HOW THEY EVOKE A WARM FEELING OF RETURNING TO OUR SAFE PLACE WITHIN OUR MINDS. THE PROJECT ALSO REFLECTS ON A LOST PAST, WHICH CAN BE A PAINFUL EXPERIENCE FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOST THEIR HOMES. HOWEVER, IT ALSO HIGHLIGHTS THE PLEASANT MEMORIES THAT CAN DISTRACT US FROM LONELINESS AND REAFFIRM OUR ROOTS, THEREBY CONNECTING US WITH SOMETHING NATIVE.